Well, as said in the first few days, I am a writer, maybe that is wrong, it should probably say that I want to be a writer. I mean, anyone can put words onto paper but it doesn’t mean that you are a writer nor does it mean you have the right to call yourself one. I think I might have to explain this further and please note, this is just my opinion.
I love to write. I love the thoughts running around in my head, changing but always there not really making any sense. They are apart of me and if it all went quiet one day, I think I be very upset, very upset indeed. However, I do not call myself a writer and there is one simple reason for it, I do not think I have earned the right to do so.
My writing is done very far between, apart from this Blog, I haven’t written properly since NaNoWriMo and that was pushing it. I have a hard time to get myself focussed enough too sit down and write. I think it is because I see myself as someone doing it for laughs, not really serious about it. I do not see my life being controlled by it. I am not sure enough in my ability to write to try and put my writing down, I don’t enter competitions and I do not think I have faith in myself to be able to take the lows with the highs.
As a person, I have never been that good at taking criticism. It is a flaw I have and I know that. I also know that in normal life situations, you will be criticised especially when it comes to some kind of Art, which writing is.It is a craft, an Artistic view on something. I like to think that since I love Art but I cannot draw, writing is the Art I am meant to do. I also know that my ability to write lacks certain things and I am always trying to improve this. This includes my knowledge of grammar and spelling and just general literature things.
I have never read the classics that were not forced upon me by school and to be honest, I find some of them boring. I also sometimes do not “get” them either. What I see out of a book is apparently not what everyone else sees. Now, this is fine as I know that everyone takes a book or story and comes from it with different thoughts and opinions but it is hard to not feel a little out of your depth when your view may be a little bit more than little different.
Basically, it is hard to see myself as this great thing when I do not feel great. I want to feel great and this is one of the big changes I want to make about myself because as I said at the beginning, the thoughts and characters moved long before I can remember so I have the potential, I just need to push myself to do it.