So today was so supposed to be a good day. I was supposed to go somewhere and then come out with all smiles and happiness but all that happened was uncomfortable feelings and a loss of time.
Okay, so a few days ago, my sister rang me up and told me that the recruitment fair for Camp America would be on today. I have always wanted to do that so I said I would go and I did. I just got there a couple of hours late because the tube was doing extensive engineering works and so instead of one train, it took three. It was okay, I took a book. However, by the time I got there almost all the positions were filled, there were hundreds of people and I was in and out in 20 minutes. It took ages to get home and it was very cold outside.
It isn’t over yet though, I can still do the application online and hopefully I might get something. I didn’t realise that it would be so crowded though and everyone was so young. I look older for my age and just felt so out of place. Even the reception people looked me up and down and tried to avoid talking to me. It just made me feel bad, like I wasn’t supposed to be there let alone think I could get a placement.
I don’t know, some days I just feel low, have low self-esteem but I get over it eventually. I think it kind of hit on my loneliness too which sucked. Never mind, I came home and decided I would apply any way. I went to college and uni for a few years, even if I didn’t complete it so I have some experience of something. I think doing something like that would definitely be part of the improvement I am searching for.
I even looked on Google for writing camps to see if anything came up but I’m not too sure if they allow international people to help. It would be great if they did though.