Well, I seem to failing on everything I wanted to do and it is no-one elses fault except my own but I have made up excuses for it. They aren’t very good but they kind of make me feel slightly better.
I am sick of having to do stuff over and over. I seem to have no time to myself and I don’t like it. When I was working, there were reasons for the lack of time but now, no, I can’t seem to find any reasons.
Let me explain a little, to see if I can give you a bigger picture. It seems I have to go out shopping for bits and pieces every day. If it isn’t bread and milk it’s potatoes or butter or something else random that feels it should run out before everything else, like it is something special. It isn’t, it is just annoying. It makes me go out into the cold for no reason.
Okay, so that isn’t really an excuse but come on, I wish everything would work together. I currently have a messed up sleeping pattern, 5am is not a good time to fall asleep but apparently, my brain decided to do it anyway. It means I gt up after 1pm, more 2pm if I really sleep and not even an alarm clock can wake the dead that I turn into. I like my sleep and since I am required to be no-where, I sleep a lot. It is bad, I know but my brain decided that almost before I was born!
What this means is that I generally can’t be arsed to do anything until late and that’s when it’s dark and cold and awful outside.
I am also sick of having to take public transport. I really can’t do it anymore. I really dislike being close enough to sniff someones armpit. I am just too creeped out to do it. Plus you have to wait ages for a bus in the rain. I want a car but I know I can’t afford it. Maybe when I get a job and get good money coming in.
Having no job sucks to high heaven. The ‘free’ time is non existant and I can’t buy anything good. Saving up is just not option as I seriously lack any. I am seriously thinking about starting up the web design business I have always thought of doing but I really don’t know/think I am good enough. Plus you have to deal with all the taxes and crap that comes with it. I would love to give it a go though, just to see. It is either that or try to do some kind of writing job but I have no idea where to start with that.
Writing for a job would be fantastic but again, working for yourself is just scary. I do think I would be better off working for myself as I do not see myself working for someone long-term. I would do it but I seem to have a much too wild personality for me to feel wanted or appreciated. That probably has something to do with my lack of confidence but it doesn’t help.
So, if you can help me out, I would be grateful. Does anyone know anything about becoming a freelance writer or generally a freelance whatever? If you do, could you give me some pointers on how to start. My friend Google seems to find it funny and wont direct me to anything relevant!
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