Well, that’s Easter done and dusted and although it is the bank holiday today, I was supposed to go out and do some Census stuff although I failed to do so. I was up that end as I was called in to the radio show to cover again, which was okay but when I finished, I was going to do some Census collecting but it had gone really cold and I started having a dizzy spell. I was okay but I think I was a bit dehydrated. It has been so warm lately and I know I haven’t been keeping my fluids up, it was bound to happen plus I’m not eating that much during the day. It was all against me. Never fear though, I went home instead, buying dinner on the way and soon felt better.
I’ve been watching the Vampire Diaries. It’s the new show I decided to watch although I have to say, it isn’t catching my attention very well so I may give up on it if it doesn’t get any better.
There are five days left for Script Frenzy and I have yet to start it properly so it’s a safe bet to say that I failed it. Again. I really do suck at doing things like that and I really think that needs to change.
I know, I know, you’ve read that before and so why would it mean any different now because no doubt it still wont change anything and I can’t say anything that will deny it either, I really can’t.
The more I think of it, the more I think I will never get anything done or become anything I desire and the only thing that is stopping me is myself, I put my hands up to all of it. I just have no idea how to change it.
A lot of people will say that you need to try and force yourself to change, give yourself punishments, give rewards for when you do something, stick to a timetable, turn off the web, block websites, don’t let yourself avoid doing things and as much as these are all great ideas, I can honestly say that none of this works because, my brain can see through it. Block websites, my brain tells me to unblock them, so I do. Have rewards even though I have done nothing to deserve them just because I can and don’t bother with the punishments because I can’t be bothered. It just doesn’t work and I can tell you why, I don’t want it to.
It sounds bad and people will say that if you don’t try, you wont get anything done and maybe that is true but what happens when you’ve gone past that post, how do you come back from it because I do want to but I have had the habit for so long that I can’t find my way back. It’s like being on an Island with no way or view of the shore of the big land. In other words, any advice is well appreciated and accepted.